Some emails just make you laugh out loud. MSE was copied in on Gary’s complaint letter to his mobile provider below. While I should caution that this type of rhetoric isn’t as good as a polite, but firm letter – I suspect at least the sheer, cathartic release made Gary feel better and it reflects the frustration we’ve all felt at some point.
Though a wee plea, however frustrated you are, companies’ call centre staff are just pawns in the game, don’t fire abuse at them, they’re rarely responsible for their company’s faults.
The company’s identity has been deleted and some minor edits have been made – thanks to Gary for his permission to publish his complaint.
I write regarding our terrible customer experience, something which your company sadly doesn’t care about.
Due to awful problems with our dropped signal connection issues I asked for help from your company.
I was surprised to be contacted back by the rudest, most aggressive human being in the world in the form of Bob from your so called executive team.
May I suggest that the way to help customers experiencing issues isn’t to talk loudly over them, interrupt them whilst speaking, repeatedly call them by the wrong name, or be an all-round useless waste of space who deserves to be placed over his mother’s knee and given a good old fashioned smacking.
What we were told by my friend Bob, is that we were NOT having an issue. Don’t you just love being called a liar. My suggestion to Bob that your company may visit our premises (I would provide refreshments if I’m in a good mood) was simply ignored. What I’ll also do now is screen shot every single time for the rest of our contract whenever the connection on our equipment fails – so you can then judge for yourself if we are having problems.
I needed to go through the most stringent security test ever – including snipers, lie detectors and truth serum (even though I provided the password and have access to the account). Now each and every time you contact me, you will be required to pass security questions to check you are who you say you are.
Please therefore provide me with the answers to the following questions so I can issue you with a password:
1. Shoe size.
2. The length in centimetres of the nail on your left index finger.
3. Your favourite member of the Spice Girls.
The password I provide to you will be 36 letters and numbers in total and will require full memorised citation before we allow any communication on the account. Please don’t simply read it out – I will know if you’re doing that and will be deeply upset.
Bob did inform me that his manager would contact me back on Monday 20th – it’s now almost half eight on Tuesday evening and we are still awaiting contact. Therefore if you do choose to contact us we will ensure that you are hung up on and not called back, to replicate the experience I have received.
Moving forward there are two semblances of comfort I do take. The first is I know referring you to the ombudsman is at your cost, so as we’re out of pocket due to your shoddy device, you will be throwing any profit you do gain from us straight back down the drain.
Secondly, I will make it my mission to ensure every single social networking site is aware of the experience I go through, be that Facebook, Twitter or through the sign I’m busy making to display outside of my house.
Update Note: Gary’s been in touch… after more shenanigans, the company has agreed to cancel his contract early.