The 5 official, new consumer Olympic sports

The 5 official, new consumer Olympic sports

1. SPLUSSING!
   Sky Plus fast forwarding accuracy test.
   
   Forget archery, this is a true test of skill and nerve. Who can fast forward Sky Plus (or the equivalent) at x30 speed to minimise adverts selling to us? And then stop, at the exact moment the programme starts?

   The nearest time to the programme start wins (note the sponsors bumper is not part of the programme). But, if you go beyond the start and miss any of the programme, you’re immediately disqualified.

2. BEEP BEEP-CHING
   Supermarket self-service and check-outing.
   
   The consumer’s equivalent of show jumping. Everyone is given a basket with identical goods – including multiple identical items, goods to weigh and products with crinkled barcodes.

   Each person is timed from hitting the self-service checkout to the end, with four faults awarded each time the till refuses to process unless you call the supermarket assistant to unlock it.

3. EASY QUEUING
   Budget airline queue-fronting.
   
   Tougher than Greco-Roman wrestling, this is a challenge of skill, cunning and muscle. Most budget airlines don’t have pre-booked seats, so the aim is to ensure you’re at the very front of the queue (paying for speedy boarding disqualifies you).

   Extra points are given for sussing out other passengers to see who’s also determined to get to the front, so you can cut them off without being noticed.

4. FREE-WHEELING!
   Maximum distance, minimum petrol.
   
   The MoneySaving marathon. Who’s got it in them to go the furthest most efficiently? Each competitor will be given a full tank of fuel in an identical car, the challenge is simple, who can go the most miles around a set track on the one tank. (See the Cheap Petrol guide for hints on how to win).
5. FAST-CASHING
   ATM withdrawal shoot-out.
   
   Think matchplay golf, a one-on-one challenge to find the ultimate player. Two identical cash machines, two identical withdrawals…. ready… steady… BANG! Whoever is the first to get their cash survives and heads onto the next round.

   (OK, I admit it, I played this with my fellow overly competitive friend Geoff yesterday, as we both needed money when passing an identical bank of machines – I’m pleased to say that as the MSE should – I won).
   

6. OLYMPIC TICKETING
   Can you get hold of tickets for the actual 2012 Olympics?
   
   Sadly this event has been cancelled, as it has been deemed too difficult, even the best consumers seem to be unable to successfully navigate the system (see Is Olympics sponsored by Wonga.com? and Olympic psychic booking process blogs).

Good luck in these. Any suggestions for more events would be gratefully received (via the links below).