I noted a packet of caramelised onion and balsamic vinegar Walkers Sensations in the supermarket. Its sobriquet was:
“Made with real ingredients”
As opposed to what – fake ones?
Of course the aim is to conjure an image of wholesome goods, ‘real’ onions, ‘real’ vinegar – whatever that is – but that means nothing.
According to the website it’s explained as…
“Sensations crisps are made with real ingredients and no artificial colours, sweeteners, flavour enhancers or MSG so go ahead and indulge yourself.
See below for all the list of ingredients for each flavour and all the nutritional information”
Which is then listed as…
“Balsamic Vinegar & Caramelised Onion
Ingredients: Potatoes, Sunflower Oil (26%), Balsamic Vinegar & Caramelised Onion Seasoning, Salt, Firming Agent (Calcium Chloride)
Balsamic Vinegar & Caramelised Onion Seasoning contains: Sugar, Flavouring, Spices, Citric Acid, Dried Onion, Fructose, Balsamic Vinegar, Colour (Paprika Extract)”
So at best it means ‘no e numbers’ though of course it is jammed with flavourings, spices, firming agents and more.
Don’t get me wrong they’re great crisps, I love the flavour it’s one of my favourites, yet the statement is completely meaningless.
Any other nonsense marketing statements that can mean virtually anything?
I’ve had a great response to this, my favourite being “nothing cleans faster than ariel” in which case why not buy nothing rather than ariel! And someone’s follow up… my washing machine takes the same length of time regardless of which washing detergent I use.
Here’s some more:
- I love the statement ‘new and improved’. A product can be one or the other but not both
- I’ve had an interesting email discussion with Nestle about their new Aero advert which states "33% more bubbles". So asked their customer service people if this meant that because there’s more air in the bar, that must mean there’s less chocolate!
- Or Daz "whiter than White ". What’s that all about? White is White !
- Or "Kills 99.9% of all germs/bacteria"… so if you catch anything afterwards, it can always be blamed on the 0.1% that survived!
- The marketing line that has always got to me is ‘hand cooked crisps or chips’. Do they really expect us to believe that somebody is throwing batches into the fryer manually? I hope their hands are scrupulously clean if that’s the case.
- Dolmio …the authentic taste of Italy made in the UK, have a slogan of proper food for proper kids …just microwave in the packet for 60 seconds. That always drives me nuts
- "We guarantee that you won’t find our properties for a lower rate anywhere on the internet. If you do we’ll match that rate and give you a 10% discount". But.. you said..
- I find the cheese straws ones funny that say "Made with real cheese". Surely that’s what you’d expect?!
- As someone who has studied Chemistry to a high level, "chemical free" is something that really does make me cringe, as does "natural". People seem to be fixated that chemical = bad, when as the RSC quite rightly point out, everything is made of chemicals!