OK I admit it I’ve never bought a tape, record or CD in my life!

My nightmare question today on Jeremy Vine, “so we’ve had Otis Ferry in, now let’s
play his Dad’s song, and Martin that is…..?”

Aaarrghh, as I had to admit, I’ve never bought a record, tape or CD in my life. I know less about music than a tone deaf koala bear. Now don’t get me wrong here, it’s not that I hate music, and want to violently smash any stereo I see, I just don’t ever put it on to listen to. I prefer speech radio or the TV.

It’s rather bizarre really as my main hobby/sport/night out is actually off to a club to dance and I used to do it quite seriously. At one point I had a dance partner. Yet for me that was more about the exercise than the music itself.

I once before had to admit my lack of musical education. The researcher for a programme on Radio 5 asked me what music I liked and I admitted I couldn’t really say. At the time I was doing the ‘gob on a stick’ job on late night live – where there’s a 2 hour debate and you’re in the studio as one of two panellists to opine on any subject.

They stitched me up something rotten. Matthew Bannister decided to change the agenda. The intro of the show…. “something different tonight, we’ve found that one of our guests hates music, so we’re going to find out why.” A two hour phone-in proceeded. In the first hour I found myself having to defend my lack of listening, in the second the debate was “what one CD should we give Martin to start his musical education?”

Well I guess my invite to celeb Stars In Their Eyes is going to be a long way coming!